Was dreaming of having canceled the day of conferences when H woke me and said you have an hour and ten minutes to get to work. Illness. Yesterday morning again the chills and fever and my nose burning. By afternoon when I went to the darkroom I was floating and aching. I felt the sidewalk through my shoes hammer in my head. I couldn't understand what I was told about the film process and the handouts made me tired. I thought: if this is all there is to my life, I don't care at all. And then: whoa! Get thee to bed, woman. But I didn't right away because I had a meeting at 8 that went just late enough, so here I am again dreaming of sleep.
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First Bob and then the Dean watched me have fits over the failing copier yesterday morning. They both looked surprised. And scared. The Dean said, "I'll go get Jackie," and Jackie spoke to me in a calm soothing voice and walked me downstairs to the new copier in the Business Office. H says: when you get like that bats and shit fly out of your hair and all need beware. I'm learning I have this effect on people. I didn't know.
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--Meanwhile what a beautiful thing to get to sit around and talk about poems all day. All day. I'm very lucky, I know. What today looks like? Wow and thanks.
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