Also the Feast of St. Thomas Aquinas. Also an achy-chill day when I should not be sleeping off a bug but am. Also warmer already than it's been in days, but still the water in the kitchen is frozen to a trickle and the fridge is freezing my spinach, my coke. The yogurt is too cold in my mouth this morning. It makes my teeth ache, when really I just want the almonds I put in it. It's true, I'm learning something difficult to learn about friendship again and I don't know what it is. "We don't lack love. We lack intelligence." No but we lack love too, I do. It's a minefield in here. I don't trust myself not to throw it at you.
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And desire ... "I did not see you descending, but now I see you ascending. Why do you lie, since you belong to me?" The soul answered and said, "I saw you. You did not see me nor recognize me. I served you as a garment, and you did not know me." When it had said this, it went away, rejoicing greatly.
--from the apocryphal gospel of Mary
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